Monday, December 21, 2009

I saw an old flame...

Seeing an old flame… somewhat appropriate that I should write this on the first day of winter....

So a few weeks ago, I updated my status on Facebook to read, “I’m sooo excited. Meeting an old flame from overseas next Thursday”. I think it caused a minor stir although some people were too polite to comment till after I clarified. After all, what else could “an old flame” mean besides an ex-boyfriend? LOL!!! People! People! Have you ever known me to do something completely irresponsible? Or even veer in that direction? OK fine, the little incident with my eating that whole chocolate cheesecake was completely undocumented. I never told a soul about it! Hahaha.

Jokes aside, I did see an “old flame” from overseas recently. “It” traveled thousands of kilometers on a long and important journey, not just for me but for the world. At the end of October this year, at the Panathenian Stadium where the modern Olympics were born 113 years ago, the Olympic flame for the Vancouver 2010 Games was transferred to Canadian control.

Now, I’m no athlete. I don’t even pretend to exercise daily. What touches my spirit beyond words is what the Olympics represent. Some say, “The Olympic flame is the Olympic Games symbol of peace, hope, inclusiveness, equality, joy and fraternity”. I like that,... that appeals to me. Call me a sentimental fool, a softy, a bleeding-heart liberal for believing that. I don’t care, really. There are way too many cynics today, let’s choose to spread some positive vibes instead of fueling negativity.

Back to my date with the flame…when I learned that the Olympic flame was coming to my neighbourhood, I had no choice but to make plans to see it, n’est-ce pas? How many of us can boast of living in an Olympic host country but more than that, be privileged enough to live in a city that is part of the Olympic Torch relay? I have no idea if Canada will host another Olympics in my lifetime and even if it did, if the flame would ever walk the streets that I walk. Therefore, it was a no-brainer – we would, as a family, go be a part of this immensely special ocassion.

Supposedly, when the flame left Greece in October, it also marked the start of a new journey for the flame that would see it endure the longest national relay in Olympic history. Vanoc (Vancouver Organizing Committee) chief executive John Furlong said this when he received the flame at Panathenian Stadium, “Today we accept the Olympic flame with humility and respect and with joy. This moment marks the beginning of the Vancouver 2010 torch relay and our 106-day odyssey of hope." The torch relay through Canada this year would be a 45,000 kilometer relay that would touch all provinces and territories, through more than 1,000 communities and unbelievably, implausibly, yet remarkably, mine would be one of those communities.

On December 6th, I bundled up my whole family at 6:00pm to take a shuttle bus to a park at a nearby suburb. I even packed a few thermoses of hot chocolate! The runner scheduled for this particular leg of the flame’s journey was a high school student, something that resounded with my identity as a teacher. It was the night before the first forecasted snowstorm. So, did the frigid weather deter people from coming out to welcome this flaming symbol of hope? “Not a snowball’s chance in hell” is how one local reporter responded.

It was an inspiring evening. So many people – young, old and in between, all bundled up in winter clothing, many of them in Canadiana Olympic red apparel, the cutest were the little babies, completely wrapped from head to toe in snowsuit, cutesy toques with pom poms, red cheeks … you could see their warm breaths in the cold air. Everyone got noise makers (little tambourines), glowing Coke bottles (a sponsor), there was hot chocolate, Christmas lights, and entertainment and chit chat being conducted in the two national languages of Canada, French and English.

When the flame finally emerged, the atmosphere crescendoed to a boisterous, rousing bilingual rendition of O’ Canada. It was FANTASTIC! Everyone, of all ages and of all colours, seemed to remember all the words. We sang, with ONE voice, tinged with subtle yet undeniable Canadian pride, as the sleek cool-looking torch, designed by Bombardier engineers (Montreal company) arrived in our neighbourhood.

Seeing the bright yellow and blue flame bouncing as it moved through the crowd somehow got me choked up. I cannot explain it. I felt a whole gamut of emotions and I wasn’t even the one carrying the flame! I felt pride, awe, humility, happiness, reverence, fascination… how odd … yet completely wonderful! The icing on the cake was at the end of the evening when my kids thanked me for an exciting outing. Even they, at their young and tender age, had felt something special in the air.

Two days later, after Montreal’s first major snowstorm, I was privileged enough to see the flame again, this time in the middle of the day during school hours. I felt so blessed to have some free periods exactly during the time of the flame’s traverse near my school. This time, there were busloads of students from nearby schools lining up the street awaiting the flame. I had a fabulous front row “seat” and managed to take a video of this special moment. The feelings I had the previous night ALL returned, this time even stronger as children all around me chanted, “Canada! Canada! Canada!” Many were holding flags and posters they drew. I seriously felt the hope and pride of this adoptive nation of mine.

It was an experience that was magnificent, mind-blowing and completely awesome!

I am humbled to have had the privilege of being a part of this historic relay, not once but twice. How lucky am I? February 12th - I have another date with you, my flame, as the Winter Olympics begin. Hope to catch the live coverage of the Opening ceremonies. May these Games indeed be a symbol of "symbol of peace, hope, inclusiveness, equality, joy and fraternity"


Thursday, November 5, 2009

More firsts....

I've never been to a spa even though I'm the ripe old age of "29" (wink wink nudge nudge..) I have shied away from it for various reasons, the silliest being I was afraid I would feel inferior standing in what I assumed would be posh settings. After all, I am no celebrity, no royalty... I am part of the normal, working class. Plus I always pictured a spa as a place with long flowing white curtains, beautiful women dressed in soft, white terry robes... a place where you get led to a room and in comes a hulking, blond, Viking woman called Olga who proceeds to thump the life out of you. So when a student and her parents gave me a gift card to a popular spa last Christmas, I did not quite know how to react.

Common courtesy dictated that I embrace them warmly for their generous gift. The little 7 year old was smiling from ear to ear, pleased that she had picked a wonderful gift for her teacher and her beautiful mom standing beside her beamed just as brightly. I was indeed touched to receive such a gift. "Mom" gave me the double-cheeked Montreal kiss and whispered in my ear, "Enjoy yourself, Mrs. O. You deserve it" Got me teary-eyed....the tears returned later that day when I got home with my second trunk load of Christmas gifts from my students. In all, presents and loving thoughts from a total of 113 students and their families. I have never in all my life, felt love from so many people, all at once. Affirmation that really, money cannot buy.

Back to the spa. Fast forward 11 months. I've pulled out the little gift bag from the spa many times during the year. Never had the time or guts to make an appointment. Last week, I noticed there was an expiry date...looming close... So, what did I do? Instead of putting the gift away as I had done throughout the year, I picked up the phone and made an appointment for a chair massage. Yeay!! Some of my friends are cheering, whooping and hollering now - there is hope for me!

So, the day of the spa appointment arrives. I am nervous. Some of my friends would think ??##?!!?? Well, I was!! I even fussed about what to wear!?? Felt like a teenager going on my first date, I was so silly. What was that all about?

I arrive at the spa. You can't see anything through the windows...as I anticipated, there were white, flowy curtains giving those on the inside a sense of privacy. As if they were the in-crowd. I walk in the door and it was as I expected. There was a reception desk with four or five women wearing the colours of the spa. I see at least three different uniforms, one of the ladies even has a blazer on, she was probably a manager of sorts. The place was dimly lit, soothing wall colours, a light brown beige-y colour (similar to a colour called Shiatsu in my home), there were chandeliers. Over on the right was a sitting area with a white leather couch and white chairs flanked a fireplace that felt warm. The walls seemed curved. Wow...having built a house, I can imagine how much that cost to have customized curvy walls.

Since I am new, they have me filling out a form. Within minutes my massage therapist comes to make my aquaintance and after perusing my form, she suggests a full massage instead of a chair massage saying she could "work my problem areas" better that way. I gulped, she saw me hesitate and smiled, gently reassuring me that all would be well. I did not need to do anything I was not comfortable doing.

So, what do I do? I take the plunge! Well, if you're gonna do something, you might as well do it right, right? :D We walk through frosted glass doors etched with the spa name that marvellously swishes open as we approach them. The hallway is curved, mimicking what I saw in the reception, dimly lit by small chandeliers. Dark wooden doors indicate private rooms. She, let's call her "Maryse", leads me to one.

The room is even more dimly lit than the hallways. There are candles on a mantle on a wall. There is what I call "music water" playing. There is a bed with a soft looking blanket on it. She tells me the bed is heated and to undress and get under the covers. All of a sudden, you could hear my thoughts, my careful observation of my serene surroundings screech to a halt, kind of like the sound a DJ makes when he spins a record the opposite way - like a car doing emergency braking ... Eeeeekkkk!!

Hahahaha. Don't worry... I knew that would happen but still...it is somewhat disconcerting when a total stranger tells you to disrobe, no? I am given some privacy and when she returns, I receive a half-hour introduction to a world where someone else is taking care of your needs. Someone is identifying that parts of your life or your body are in need of relief and that someone is going ahead and taking care of giving you that relief.

Being a working mom, I am normally that person who identifies needs in those around me and I am the one meeting those needs. For years, I would get upset if I did not manage to meet all those needs, as if I was completely responsible for the happiness and well-being of every single person I met. I do not know how I developed this warped sense of responsibility. I do know now, at the "ripe old age of 29" (nudge 2x wink 2x) that if I allow this attitude to lead my life, it will kill me just a little every day.

My 30 minutes with "Maryse" taught me to find a balance to my life. If I keep on chugging and giving, with no regard to myself, eventually, my tank will run dry. I can but choke and sputter while hoping to reach my final destination. I am realizing that it is not at all BAD to do something nice for myself every now and then. I'm sure I have some girlfriends who would say, "Whaddaya mean every now and then? Do it often!" Hahaha!

Well, my dears, I love you all for loving me and encouraging me to relax and enjoy some of what life has to offer and if I should be so lucky to receive some down time at a spa, I should never be apologetic about it and to relish my good fortune. And so I move on, a woman on her journey towards excellence and happiness, a woman no longer a spa virgin.


Virtual Visit Spa


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My first....


So, it’s 09/09/09 – the ninth of September in the year 2009 and it’s 23 C. I’m sitting outdoors at a Starbucks, here in the most European of cities in North America – beloved Montreal. There is not a cloud in the sky…only pristine blue as far as the eye could see

I’m doing this for my friend Arzee. He’s someone from my glory days at McGill U. We were there 20 years ago. Arzee no longer lives in Montreal, having returned to Malaysia upon graduation. However, mention McGill and Montreal and it is as if his own personal silver screen that is made up of memories comes immediately to life. Sights and sounds of days gone by. Feelings experienced whilst in one’s youth: the insecurities of a young adult ... the burden of doing well at school ... the freedom to party whenever you wanted to ...the responsibility of paying one’s own bills... the thrill of one’s first relationship ... the sorrow of one’s first break up ... he loves me, he loves me not ...the regret of never having loved while in the prime of life ... the privilege of having experienced more wonders than money can buy ...

Many years have passed.

Arzee and I are still the best of friends. At least I think so. Girl and boy, one in the West, the other in the East. One forever cautious, the other larger than life. One Christian, the other Muslim. One reads, the other dances. Sometimes polar opposites but always caring friends. He is like the big brother I never had. More like twin brother as we are the same age.

Back to Starbucks, I am here mainly of my own volition ...partly coz I received a gift card for Christmas. Otherwise I could never afford such visits on my teacher's salary. One coffee could cost as much as a whole lunch for one adult! What amazing new vocabulary to learn – mezzo, grande (pronounced "grun-day"), venti….(why can’t they keep to small, medium and large?) I am outside of my comfort zone but I press ahead. RZ said – try everything once.

I had to do some research before I came…can you imagine? Such a sheltered life. I actually asked around what people’s favourite items were AND I even googled the Starbucks menu so I could make the best choice with my little gift card. Odd? Weird? No problem. I still love myself no matter what you think.

Seeing as it was a beautiful summer day in September, of course I had to go with something iced – specifically a Mocha Frappucinno – an iced blend of espresso, chocolate, and milk. I tried to be responsible and take the “light version” and asked for skimmed milk ... but I was so quiet and unsure with my ‘demand’ that the waitress…wait…I think the word is “barista” (LOL!) heard it as ...wanting “whipped cream” with my order.

So instead of repeating my request for “skimmed milk” (did not want to draw attention to myself now, the virgin Starbucker), I just smiled and nodded. I pay with my gift card and about 12 seconds later, after some whirring sounds, she twirls to the other side of the counter and announces loudly, “One Mezzo Mocha Frappuccino with Whipped Cream…bla bla bla” ... I did not catch the “bla bla bla” coz I was horrified she was telling the world of my order ... and coz she “twirled” to the other side of the counter, I was no longer in the right line of coffee lovers (not that I am one, as you can see from this posting). Loser!!!

Anyway - I picked up my drink… I could see I got a domed cover thanks to all that Full Fat Whipped cream (hey – my friends told me to live dangerously and so I am!)…went to look for a straw and napkin ....and wow ....found more things to learn. Nestled in between napkin dispensers were 4 little what looked like salt and pepper bottles ...only they held what I assumed were toppings for one’s coffee.

Aha! See?... See?... I’m not all that backwards! There were 2 powders I could not identify and the other two were cannelle (cinnamon) and mocha…so of course, I chose mocha.. Hellooo!!??? I was having a Mocha Frappuccino, remember?

So, a nice sprinkling of mocha and I have to now look for somewhere to sit. Wow…what a place. Coffee houses have changed since I was a kid. This one had clusters of comfy armchairs as well as traditional warm, rustic chairs and table. Of course, the terrace was open ...guess where I went? Arzee – just for you, I took my precious drink outdoors. You see, I do not enjoy being in the sun as most Canadians…but hey…some things are worth doing for the sake of friendship!

The terrace was sprinkled with bistro sets, little round metal tables with metal chairs. Most of them were taken as Canadians take every opportunity to be in the sun. There was one left and that is where I installed myself, opened my laptop, took out my camera and began recording this first meeting with Mr. Starbucks.

For what reason, I am unsure. One may be that I felt I should enjoy the road I am on, here in Montreal, for my friend who is not here but wishes he was. So ... my dearest Arzee, this afternoon is for you ...for encouraging me to take time for myself ...for teaching me that I am fortunate, exactly where I am, ...for reminding me that sometimes, life’s little pleasures can come in clear plastic glasses with domed tops ...especially if enjoyed in the outdoors underneath the bear hug of a sunny, summer sky.

Je’ t’aime, mon ami.


PS – that Mocha Frappuccino was so sweet...and coupled with the whipped cream, probably took half of my entire day’s worth of calories. Thankfully, I have just a “humble-sized” gift card – I can only afford another one and a half of these decadent drinks :-D

Friday, August 14, 2009

My first...

A few months ago, I was minding my own business, enjoying a leisurely wake up routine on a weekend morning...had just brushed my hair and twisted it up to secure with my customary hair clip when I saw a glimmer. What the... ?? I KNOW my hair can be yummy and glossy....ON a GOOD hair day, that is, but this shiny? No way!

I twisted my head this way and that and finally the perfect shaft of light caught the culprit. Nestled among still beautiful, silky black hair, sat sanctimoniously, one pristine white one! Aaahh! Eeeek! The violins from the movie Psycho sudddenly crescendo around me!

Oh ... my... goodness! I have NEVER been known to be vain...and that day, I discovered that perhaps even I, had a vain streak in me. I had no idea this would be my reaction to the discovery of my first white hair. I mean...it's inevitable, right? We all age?

So - why exactly was I "aahh -ing" and "eeek-ing"? Was it a sudden reminder of my biological clock? Er.. nope, have not seemed to care about that in a while. Was it because gosh darn, now I will have to consider colouring my hair like most of my friends? Err...don't think so either.

So, what was the big deal about one measly cylindrical, keratinized, often pigmented filament, growing from the epidermis of a mammal, namely me? I'm gonna disappoint you. I have not yet found my answer. Note, I said MY answer...not THE answer.

Some weeks later, a cherished friend suggested I take a look at hip fashion magazines to have an idea what was "hot" and what was "not". I took his suggestion, to come away from the magazines quite disturbed. Almost every page I turned was a suggestion that this was the "must-have" item...that was the "must-have" look...and over there was the "must-have" hairdo. Instead of feeling great, I felt lacking. Probably also coz all the women featured looked like they were about 5 foot 10 inches tall, maybe 120 lbs tops...with smooth flawless skin, glowing hair, wearing clothes and accessories which cost was similar to an entire year of swimming lessons for both my kids!

I don't want to age thinking I'm not good enough! I AM GREAT! I have been around the block, I have seen things, experienced others.... loved... lost... lived through it all. I am better than I have ever been AND I am NOT in my 20s!

There is one company though, that I believe, have a great message about true beauty. Dove has a beauty campaign that I love... encouraging women of all looks and sizes to be mentors to young girls growing up...to teach them what true beauty is all about. It's not all about being a size 2 or size 0 (What on earth is a size 0?? A whisp of thin air??) It's about being comfortable in your own skin, it's about seeing beauty beyond the skin. Here's a look at one of their commercials. Hope you like it and that I attached it properly. I loved it. If someone can do my hair and make up and then airbrush me too, I would look just as awesome as the model. Even so, without all the extras I mentioned, I believe I look just as awesome as the model. The video, can be found on Dove's website and is called Evolution (in case I posted this wrongly)

Dove Evolution Video on Youtube

Monday, August 3, 2009

Kids Say The Darndest Things ... including my own

Wow - long time no blog. Too little time to do too many things. Intimidated by the numerous interesting and beautiful blogs out there too. Reminds me of something I read recently...lemme see if I can remember - Envy makes it hard to have friends. Everybody has something I don't have.

Yeah? Yeah!

So, my brother has said that he enjoyed my earlier writings (not posted) that were borne of my funny bone. 'Tis been a bit hard to find funny things in my adult world full of adult-sized responsibilities lately. But I will try to find my way back... maybe by way of my kids.

Here's what was heard today. Kiki (girl) is 9 and King Tee (boy) is 6.

Me: Hey guys! (after getting off the phone) Wanna go to Amber's birthday party ?(Amber - neighbour and not her real name)

Kids: YEAH!!!

Kiki: But Tee, it's gonna be a princess theme okay coz she's a little girl so don't be a baby about it.

King Tee: I don't care. I LIKE birthday parties. Be'coz everbody's happy and everybody has fun and people get presents. When's the party?

Me: This weekend. She's turning 5.

King Tee: Five??!!! (stunned!...and he puts his hand to his brow..) They grow up so fast..

LOL!!!




Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter

I cannot believe it has been almost an entire month since my last blogpost. Life has been extremely full... it feels like I've been occupied with saving the "world" and yet I am no Superwoman, as much as I wish I were one.

In times like these, my faith sustains me... it is central to who I am. As I spend time by "streams of still waters", I've been buoyed by words written by amazingly talented songwriters like Lincoln Brewster and Chris Tomlin and Darlene Zschech.

Songs that speak of the God who knows me by name, lyrics like -

You are the Everlasting God, the Everlasting God
You do not faint, You won't go weary
You're the defender of the weak
You rescue those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

Today was Easter Sunday. I am not eloquent enough to share what this day means to me. The resurrection of Jesus Christ is integral in the epic love story that spans the beginning and the end... and that love story includes me. Because I cannot find words that can fully explain how I feel about this day, I thought I would simply share a picture from our church bulletin from today. What a powerful message of love and sacrifice for me...for those whom I love...for all of creation.



Hope you also enjoy the list of my favourite Christian songs on the right of this post. Their lyrics and music never fail to touch my spirit. Many are found on YouTube. In case the link does not work, simply type in the song name or artist name there and they will be found.

Blessings on your new week.

A.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Living dangerously

I've been reconnecting with old, old friends recently. Whoops...let me reclaim one "old". Since my friends and I are relatively the same age, we can't be all THAT old. Hahaha!

What was I saying. Oh yeah! Old friends...well, at least 3 of them have indicated in various ways that I really need to "relax a little" ... "hang loose" ... "liberate myself" ..."live a little dangerously". And these are folks who knew me some decades ago...some can even be considered among my best friends though... I'm considering chucking you aside for your brutal honesty. LOL!! Hmmmmm....what are you saying, pals??? That yours truly is uh...umm...somewhat uptight (i.e stiffly conventional in manner or attitudes)? Kinda a control freak? An overachieving perfectionistic Ms. Smarty Pants?

Ugh...methinks you are right. Don'tcha hate it when your friends are right?

In my defense, I have "eldest child syndrome". Hahaha! Add the word "Chinese" in front of that phrase and that will explain a lot about who I am, what I do and why I do what I do. I could go on and on about that...would take many blog pages to "purge" myself of that syndrome..but not now. :)

So - frankly, I somewhat agree with my precious friends. I need to "relax" and "hang loose" a little. But how to do that? Years, no decades, of choosing to do the right thing for the good of all those around me...not easy to change overnight.

I decided to attempt one suggestion from the friend from Down Under. Said I should start drinking coffee...and that if I dared... I should drink it black! Actually, first the suggestion was that I take some time for myself. Those of you who are moms, working inside and/or outside the home will know that we are notorious for not taking time for ourselves. So - this is what I did - a few weeks ago, I managed to carve out 30 .. nope..40 minutes in my week for myself. Whoohoo!!

I went to the library - must have books :)... then I went to Tim Horton's (famous Canadian Donut and Coffee chain) and ordered...a Cafe Mocha (half coffee, half hot chocolate). What???!! You thought I was going to order a Coffee... black?? Are you crraazzy??? Puh-leeze...do you know how hard it is to do something out of the ordinary? :) But wait - I'm not done...the server said, "One Cafe Mocha. Would you like whipped cream with that?"

Ooohhh...whipped cream....very, VERY b-a-d for the likes of me (struggled with weight issues all my life). But... I remembered! You could almost see little thought bubbles popping up around my head - Relax! ... Hang Loose! ... Live Dangerously!

So, I said to the friendly Tim Horton staff - "Whipped cream? Sure...why not?" HAHAHAHAHAHA! How's that for living dangerously? I know...lame-O!! HAHAHA...if you are laughing with me, that's good.

But wait - fast forward 2 weeks (this time, I got 50 minutes to myself!)... another visit to the library... (I'm a fast reader!) ... another visit to Tim Horton's. Same order...Cafe Mocha...same Q....and I said, yet again, "Yes - whipped cream please" :O!!! Sin!! ... and I added, " And may I have a muffin with that?" She asked, "Which one?"

I pointed to a delectable looking muffin that was studded all over with tiny brown flecks and gleamed with coarse crystal-like granulated sugar and said, surely but certainly , "THAT Chocolate chip one". Hey...if I was going to live "dangerously", I might as well go ALL OUT, right? Hahahahaha! And thus, I completed my journey to the Dark Side. I don't know if even Master Yoda can save me.... :) Did I mention I'm a huge Star Wars fan?

Whaddaya think? Is this living dangerously enough or do I need to go further? :D

I wonder what the next outing will bring? Maybe I'll go hog wild and get a donut...glazed or with icing!!! :D

Have a good week folks. Spring officially arrives in Canada in less than 1 week. Unbelievable! That means brace, brace, brace for one last snowstorm. :)



Saturday, March 7, 2009

Ode to my friends from the 80s

So, two weeks before a milestone birthday this past fall, I was involved in an accident. I was driving home after work and was minding my own business in the slow lane of the highway when a big, blue, ugly dump truck kissed my "butt" so to speak. He had changed lanes and did not seem to see me, nudged my car and sent me spinning across a 3-lane highway at rush hour.

By the time I saw his big, blue nose in my rear-view mirror, it was too late. I felt the nudge and I lost control of the car. I remember how surreal the next few moments felt. I remember thinking "Not good...not good...don't know how this will end...". It felt like I was spinning very slowly...even though I knew I was not. I saw cars heading right for me as I did a 180 and continued onto a 360 plus. My eyes caught those of another driver heading right to me and then by me. He looked as shocked as I felt. Helloooo!! I'm the one facing oncoming traffic on a highway at rush hour...why do you look scared out of your wits?

I suppose it was not yet my time to see heaven coz my car landed safely on the shoulder of the fast lane after hitting the median...facing the right way again. Considering the time and the amount of cars on the road, all I can say is, I truly believe angels do exist :). My hubby could not believe the minimal damage to the car considering what actually happened. It was somewhat cool to have the cops stop traffic so I could drive my damaged car to the slow lane shoulder to finish paperwork. Wow...I've never been known to be the type to "stop traffic". By the way, that dump truck that hit me? He stopped about a half kilometre ahead for about 5 minutes...and then drove away. The nerve! How rude! What if I was dead or dying? Thankfully, I was neither.

The few days following the accident, I hugged my kids a bit more, was kinder to those around me, called home a couple of times, was a whole lot more mellow. Why do we seem to appreciate life and people only after we lose it or at least after we've been threatened by its loss??

A couple of weeks later, through a "social networking website", I started finding old friends with whom I lived my first 5 years in Canada. Then the milestone birthday happened and I've been on somewhat of an extended walk down Memory Lane these past few months reconnecting with names from the past.

It's been an extraordinary time of renewing of friendships. I am amazed at how easy it has been to pick up with my friends...almost as if the last 20 years have not happened. I do not think this is the case with all friendships. With some great friendships, after an absence, there is nothing you can do to regain the magic. I have been unbelievably blessed with my friendships from the 80s...as we communicate by emails, I can almost hear my friends' voices and their laughter and I can sense their tears as we reminisce, banter and joke....horrified at our 80s clothes and hairdos, laughing at our silly antics, tearing up as we recall names we have not spoken in 20 years....

Do you have such friends in your life?

My friends and I are quite established in different parts of the world, many are in Malaysia. Although life is generally good with adult-sized challenges for all of us, there seems to be a consensus that our years doing our undergraduate studies at McGill and the very first year finishing Grade 13 in Kington were possibly the best years of our lives. My walk down Memory Lane reminds me of the theme song for the Barcelona Olympics in 1992 sung by Sarah Brightman and Jose Carreras. There's a link on the right side of my blog page - Amigos Para Siempre which means friends for life.

The lyrics of this beautiful song are posted below. I just wanted to recognize how blessed my life was and continue to be, by a group of people who accepted me as one of their own...me with my quirks, my smarts, my sneakers, and all (including a killer smile, thankfully) ....

To all the Malaysians I knew in Kingston and Montreal, I miss you and I continue to love you as the years go by. You are...my amigos para siempre. ... "Just knowing you are in this world can warm my heart" ... This song is dedicated to you with all my love.

Amigos Para Siempre (Friends for life)

I don't have to say
A word to you
You seem to know
Whatever mood
I'm going through
Feels as though
I've known you forever


You
Can look into my eyes and see
The way I feel
And how
The world is treating me
Maybe I have known you forever


Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre


We share memories
I won't forget
And we'll share more,
My friend,
We haven't started yet
Something happens
When we're together


When
I look at you
I wonder why
There has to come
A time when we must say goodbye
I'm alive when we are together


Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre


When
I look at you
I wonder why
There has to come
A time when we must say goodbye


I'm alive when we are together

Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
Amigos para siempre

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Ode to my Girlfriends a.k.a. Sister Chicks!

So I've been exhausted these past three weeks. It's called end-of-term-nightmare for teachers i.e. work life revolves around exams, marks, report cards, encouraging comments... while the rest of real life continues surging around you and you have to deal with that too.

I've had the great fortune to meet up with my group of girlfriends twice in this crazy period. The first was at the beginning of my 3-week sprint to the finish line - a sushi outing to celebrate Chinese New Year. Delicious way to get me out of my doldrums. The other, just this weekend, after I crossed the finish line, the girls came over to a Malaysian meal at my place. Both times, somebody mentioned that for someone who said she was "exhausted", I certainly did not "look" like it...that I in fact, looked great. I did not have to think too much about this one.

The answer was simple. I was honestly extremely tired, physically and mentally. But in both circumstances, I was in the company of a small group of people whom I knew loved me, affirmed me and accepted me despite all my quirks, my musings, my imperfections which strangely enough includes my perfectionist side.

I "looked great" because despite my fatigue, I was buoyed by and was feeding off all the "l-o-v-e" my friends had for me. I know. Corny. But true. In a weird way, these gals "completed" me when I was "incomplete". I know, not all of y'all agree with the line from Jerry McGuire which can be a load of hogwash (methinks so too) but that's another blog topic. :) In the instances I refer to with my girlfriends...the line Tom Cruise says to Renee Zellweger is true.

Do you have friends like my sister chicks? I hope so. Over the years, I have come to appreciate the gift of true friends... the ones with whom you can share your mountain-top joys and death-valley lows...ones who won't let you walk around with lipstick on your teeth (I know..maybe the guys who read my blog can relate to pals who don't let you "fly low" Hahaha!). I also understand that I cannot be "Best Friends" with everyone all the time nor they with me. I try to be less bothered by opinions of those who don't even know me and surround myself with people who know me well yet still choose to love me. Makes more sense, eh? Less nay-sayers in my life and more you-go-girl types!

What kind of friend are you? Nay-sayer? Or.. "You go, girl! You go, boy!"

You choose.

I end with a poem that's been circulating on the internet (yep, get a bunch of those). Once again, there is no specific reference to the original creator. Anyone who knows can tell me so I can give credit where it's due. Altho' it's got "girl language", I hope the boys who read my blog will find the guy-equivalent ideas for the seasons mentioned.

Hope to write more this week as my March break week is almost over...got something to say about post-grundge music. :O

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.


So whether they've been a friend for 20 minutes or 20+ years,
AND ONLY IF YOU'D LIKE TO,
Pass this on to the women that God has placed in your life
To make a difference. Including the one who sent it to you.

Thanks for being in my circle.


I love you girls, those who knew me in my younger "intimidating years" (some of you live thousands of miles away)...and those who know me now...and still you choose to call me friend. I wish you the best that life can bring. XOXOXO. A.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day - are you in the doghouse?

Yeah, yeah... I know I was supposed to continue on my "Childlike vs Childish" train of thought but hey, it's Valentine's Day today and I simply could not resist sharing a link to a hilarious video I saw recently. That plus dealing with young, sick kids all week has totally drained me.

So - Valentine's Day - what's the big DEAL??? Seriously, somebody tell me. I don't really have any good answers. However, I do know there are expectations from men for the women and vice versa.... for different things, quite often, unfortunately, haha!

Check out this video if you have a chance. It belongs to JC Penney, I believe. You'll figure it out.... you will need to "Copy and paste" the link below to your browser as I could not set up a hyperlink. Sorry - not that technically advanced and did not have time to read all the mumbo-jumbo about including links...

http://www.bewareofthedoghouse.com/

Once you are on the home page, you need to click on the "What life's like inside the doghouse" at the bottom of the page to view the video plus you definitely need high speed internet for this. It's also available on other places/ sites that share videos, if you know what I mean. :)

Enjoy! And...regardless of whether you go out or not to celebrate Valentine's Day... do take the time (on any day) to celebrate all those you think are special and those who make you feel special.

Later!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Childlike vs. Childish - Part 1

Hey folks!

Anyone need a good laugh? I do. Badly! Someone send me a bad joke. Actually, make it a good one! :)

Been thinking lately about the difference between "childlike" and "childish". Is there a difference? Someone I know hinted that sometimes I am the latter. To which I responded, "You don't really know me that well...do you?" and in my mind, I said a couple of more things that I will not write here :). I will still need to be forgiven for my thoughts though....

Okay fine. I admit, the observation caused me to blow up like an alarmed porcupine, erecting my "quills"...somedays this is likened to a stroke of my pen. Careful I don't "write" you out of my life, haha!

Back to thinking...so...what is considered "childlike" and "childish"....

Many online dictionaries state "childlike" as "like or befitting a child, as in innocence, trustfulness, or candor". Synonyms include innocent, trusting, guileless, simple, unfeigned....

"Childish" when used in reference to an adult generally means "marked by or indicating a lack of maturity as in like a child".

Many of us lose our "childlike-ness" as we grow up. We get cynical. Our world views are affected and sometimes tainted by our experiences, some of which are painful. We even lose hope although we would never admit that. We sometimes twist innocent gestures into something "bad". Unfortunately, we do not lose as much of our "childishness" with the same passing of time...at least in my humble opinion.

Here's a pick-me-up that one of my brothers sent me this past week that reminds me how innocent life once was. It also gave me a good, hearty laugh as it made me think of some of the things I receive from students at school. Take a good look at the picture before you scroll down for the explanation. Enjoy!

I have more to say in Part II this weekend...."childlike" vs. "childish"... to be continued...

PS - for those not in North America, Home Depot is a giant Do-It-Yourself store where folks go to get anything from hardware to flooring options to furniture, all available to the public so everyone can their own renovations, if they so choose.




(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)


Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I'll be seeing you....au revoir...

I've had a melancholy two weeks. I think that's fine, though. Real life is not always a constant high. I find that some of the most profound truths I've learned about life and about myself have been in times where I've ventured into valleys. Thankfully, I do not stay down forever and I do remember to look for life lessons for each valley that I traverse. So, bear with me as I blog this out of my system...

This past week, over a billion of Earth's inhabitants celebrated Chinese New Year. Considering that's a good quarter of our planet's population, it was strange that I should have felt so lonely on Chinese New Year day. Growing up in multi-cultural Malaysia, Chinese New Year was always a time of laughter, love, family, food, fun, noise. Open Houses everywhere, people of different faiths and races visiting each other, wishing each other well...and oh, those little red packets of $$$ (ang pows).

Chinese New Year is not celebrated in such a grand manner here, at least not in my little circle and so I am homesick each year at this time. You would think after 2 decades living away from home, I'd have outgrown this feeling but I haven't. What's my lesson?

It's simple - appreciate what you have while you have it. Love your family while you have them. Hug your kids while they are young and want to be hugged. Snuggle with your spouse while your love is fresh and build on that. Spend time with your parents while they are still alive. Tell your folks how much you appreciate their sacrifices over the years for you, for your education, for your well-being, for their grandkids...

The cycle of life is inevitable. Let's not wait until it's too late before we encourage, affirm, inspire, apologize, forgive, live and love.

This cycle of life was evident later in the week for me when a cherished friend and mentor died after a 3-year battle with cancer. He was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer...only a handful or so of other recorded cases worldwide. The doctors really did not know how to treat him, having him undergo all sorts of experimental stuff. The man was a walking miracle for 3 years, doctors initially gave him 6 weeks. His Muslim doctor, a foremost authority on cancer from Egypt said he was a miracle! Sometimes we said he was a cat with 9 lives, each time he was hospitalized, he seemed to bounce back within weeks and was back to his usual stuff, meeting with people, playing tennis ... he was 73!

Well, this week he did not bounce back. At the memorial service yesterday, there was an "Open Mike" period where people could share about the impact my mentor had had on them. Church was packed. I heard things like his life being one of influence and integrity, that he was undaunted by life - if there was a hurdle, he'd leap it; if there was a problem, he'd solve it. He was lavish with his affirmation.

I have to tell you that he was a very wealthy man, rubbed shoulders with Presidents and CEOs all over North America and even a few Prime Ministers. However, as was mentioned by so many that he touched, he was generous with his time. He made time with those of us not Presidents and CEOs and when he listened to you during an outing for coffee or lunch, he would listen to you like there was nobody else around. I was one of those privileged enough to be called for coffee... and Joe was just one of the greatest individuals I've ever known.

Someone had said that Joe was like "royalty" and yet when he shook your hand warmly or chatted with you over moccacchino (with more cocoa than coffee - he introduced it to me), he never made you feel small or insignificant. Rather the opposite. He always listened, challenged and desired to help others achieve their full potential. He said he wanted to be remembered as someone who cared. And cared he did, not just for what he did but for all the people with whom he came in contact, no matter how "big" or "small" they were. Joe epitomized His Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, in all that he said and did.

That's another bit of royalty for you..Jesus...left the throne of heaven to mingle among common folk... among the likes of me and you .... telling all who would listen just how much we are loved. Anyone listening?

So.... when the service was done and people filed out to the reception, I continue to sit in a pew, watching a slideshow of Joe's life. Cried. I knew that when the slideshow was over, I would not see Joe again...at least not on earth. I cried some more when they finally stopped the show. Thankfully, I'm a girl and I'm allowed to cry. :)

In the end, I chose to say "Goodbye" in French... I said "Au Revoir". I thought it was more appropriate. It literally means (goodbye) till we meet again. Because of our faith in Jesus, I know I will see Joe again...

What's the lesson for me? Run the race... and run the race well...in a way that only I can. What I mean is, live life with my own personal signature. Joe was a one-of-a-kind. And so am I. I was created for a purpose and I'm the best one for the job so I better do the best job I can.

So folks, get to it...live well. Put your "signature" on all that you do.

To my family - despite the miles and years between us, it seems like I love you more today than I did before. This is all good!

To my Wednesday nite Bible study group who for the past 4 years have successfully managed to surprise and celebrate me and my Chinese heritage one week before Chinese New Year, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love. You are more family than you know.

My encouragement for these coming weeks comes from the Word that is alive and active. See references below from Acts and Ecclesiastes that will keep me going.

Blessings to all. Take care.




From one man he made all the people of the world. Now they live all over the earth. He decided exactly when they should live. And he decided exactly where they should live. For everything there is a season,a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Montreal at minus 35 Celsius - colder than the North Pole?

Are you kidding me? Montreal colder than the North Pole?

Yep - you betcha little booties that was true all week this week. Daytime high temperatures hovered around -35 degrees Celsius (yes, that's a minus sign) once the windchill factor was considered. Do you have any idea how cold this is? Supposedly certain parts of the human anatomy if exposed to the elements will freeze in 3 seconds flat. This is why some of my Canadian friends think I belong in the loony bin for moving here halfway around the world from beautiful, tropical Malaysia where the temperature is a plus 35 degrees Celsius all year long.

What can I say? The butler made me do it!? It was all for love? ( I know...real corny!)...or perhaps a moment of temporary insanity.... Whatever the reason, I'm here now. I love my adopted country despite major homesickness for my birth country several times a year. (Chinese New Year approaching fast - hope I survive missing the family)

Sometimes things don't turn out the way you want them to but your life is what you have. And... every now and then we need a perspective and attitude adjustment. If I am courageous enough to take a moment to look in the mirror, too often I am thinking of what I do NOT have, what I'd like to have more of, what I want others to have less of, what I missed out on .... wish I was taller, slimmer, blonder with blue-er eyes, spoke 3 more languages than I already do and have a killer smile. Oh wait! I do have a killer smile! :)

Jokes aside, what about you? Seriously, can you identify with that attitude adjustment I just mentioned? Puh-leeze tell me you do.... :)

I'm listening to Nickelback's "Gotta be Somebody" as I'm writing this - check it out on my link on the right - one of the lines in their song says " everyone wants to know they're not alone". Gosh, hope I'm not the only one in my world confessing to the need of an attitude adjustment. Eek!

Anyway, the next piece below has been circulating around the internet for a while. Unfortunately I have no idea how it originated, perhaps someone can tell me. It is a beautifully written piece and reminds me than when I am shivering in minus 35 Celsius weather hoping my car engine will start after a long day at work, thinking how on earth my Montreal can be colder than the North Pole....that really, I have MUCH to be thankful for and very little to complain about.

Blessings everyone. Enjoy reading the following and then celebrate how truly fortunate you really are.

A.

****again - wish I wrote this but I didn't. If someone finds out who did, I will update the post with appropriate credit *****

Think of it this way. If you live in a good home, have plenty to eat and can read; you are a member of a very select group. And if you have a good house, food, can read and have a computer; you are among the very elite.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness; you are more fortunate than the million who will not survive this week. And, if you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation; you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a religious meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death, you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who can't. If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep; you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet and spare change in a dish someplace; you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. If your parents are still alive and still married? you are very rare, indeed. (Especially in North America)

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful you are fortunate; the majority can, but most do not. If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder; you are fortunate because you can offer a healing touch.

If you can read you are more fortunate than over 2 billion people in the world who cannot. Count your fortunes and pass this along.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Computer Graphics, Birthdays and Milestones....

So this morning, hubby was telling me about his "Boys' Nite" outing yesterday. Definition of "Boys' Nite" - A bunch of daddies get together a couple of times a month on weekend nites to race and crash cars or shoot and destroy enemies....all from the comfort of a couch, surrounding by junk food and drinks AND thanks to machines like the XBOX 360. :P

Anyway, hubby was talking about the amazing computer graphics on this racing game last night and reminisced about his first game ever. Where there used to be simple lines to show your racing course and ticking sounds to indicate your "engine" was working, now there are multiple views of the course including one from above (from a helicopter!! Haha) that can even show your driver leaning as you swerve or the driver shifting gears and all sorts of almost real stuff.

Why am I talking about this? I don't even like computer games.... I know, I'm forever the one outside of the crowd. It just got me thinking about birthdays and milestones. This week, a brother and a friend celebrated birthdays. One was my "baby" brother who is not a baby anymore...made me realize I'm not so young anymore. (Thanks 'Dric!)....the other is an old friend who thankfully is older than I am, pshew!! LOL!

Back to subject at hand...I digress way too much. Must work on fixing that! I got to think about the birthday cards I received last year for my milestone birthday and how they made me smile. So, here's sharing with you excerpts from one particular card, wording courtesy of Carlton (give credit where it is due) .... and if you understand any of these, that means you have have hit or are close to the big 4-0 !! By the way, some of these may be culture specific....but hope you can relate.

Do you realize that 40 years ago....
  • Call waiting referred to a line outside of a phone booth.

  • A flat screen was something you put in your windows to keep the insects out...

  • An airbag was someone who talked too much.

  • Spam * was found only in the kitchen.

  • A cell phone was what you used to make your one call from jail...

  • Guys only got pierced ears from going to a really loud concert.

  • High-speed access was an on-ramp to the highway...

  • ... and a birthday was something you actually looked forward to!
So - dear family and friends, here's wishing you lovely celebrations throughout the year as you reach your special days. May you be surrounded by people who love you and who are there to celebrate YOU!

A very special THANKS to MY people who surprised me last October by celebrating me in such a BIG way. Love you!

Will explore a bit about how men and women handle their milestone birthdays in a future blog.

A.

* spam - known as luncheon meat in M'sia.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy 2009!

So folks, it's a new year! Do you feel any different? Made any resolutions?

I did not feel any different this morning...only a bit more bleary-eyed...as we got home late from a New Year's Eve party (2:00a.m.-ish) and at 6:00am, the phone rings and the very cheery voice of a beloved brother 13 time zones away gets on our digital answering machine (which can be heard on all phones on all levels of the house!) to wish us a Happy New Year. He was always my favourite brother till this year! HAHA! Just kidding-lah, Dric... thanks for being your caring self and remembering us across the miles. You are a gem! (Just remember our time difference better, OK? Hahaha!)

Anway, resolutions...what are those??? Dictionary.com defines "resolution" as -

1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
2. A resolving to do something.
3. A course of action determined or decided on.

Well.... I'm a mom with young kids at home and I also work outside the home. So... for some years now, resolutions have flown out the window for me. Though I begin the year with good intentions, generally, life must evolve as priorities evolve. I guess some of you would disagree with me and call me wishy-washy. You are entitled to your opinion of course but I have learned that one must be flexible with what life brings. To be rigid and dogmatic is to likely miss out on wonderful life lessons and blessings.

So - for this first day of the new year, I have no specific "course of action decided on". I know however, that what I'd like to see by the end of this year is a happier family (should I learn to properly juggle all the demands on my life), dozens of happier students (they wish I would be a more lenient marker at exam time :D) and a happier me (as I learn to appreciate how "fearfully and wonderfully made"I am).

Feel free to visit my blog often (sign up to follow me- haha) and we can both see if I get all the above accomplished in 2009. Oh...and to beloved friends and family 13 time zones away - I do hope I get to see you "next year"!!!

xoxoxoxo

A.