The Business of Bridge-Building

Recently a few links to news pages back in the land where I was born brought much sadness to me… many showed me proof that the place I still refer to as “home”, is no longer the multicultural oasis I had the privilege of growing up in. So-called learned people throw divisive darts at peace and harmony. Supposed scholars pound the wedge called racism into what now seems a chasm among people of all races who call Malaysia their homeland, “tanahair”, a Malay word that always gets me teary-eyed. Many politicians encourage the divide, contributing to more tears.

I read recently, this marvelous quote, “Speak the truth, even when your voice shakes.” I am about to do so in the first of a series of blogposts… speak the truth … even though my voice is shaking as I speak. Why?  It is because I have friends on both sides of the chasm. Friends I love dearly. Friends I consider family, no matter their race, language or faith. And by speaking, I will most likely cause discomfort or pain.

My voice shakes for fear of offending those I love. And yet, if I am afraid to offend with the truth which I will gently encourage you to ponder, perhaps our friendship is more like an aquaintance and not a friendship.

I believe there is truth in this quote, “Similarities create friendships while differences hold them together.  I love my friends not just because sometimes we are similar in thought but because our differences are like a forge that creates the masterpiece of long-lasting relationships which survive the test of time and personal convictions. I celebrate our strength in our similarities as well as our differences. 

Although I know the prejudicial literature I have read recently may not represent the general opinion of the people in my birthplace, as there are very many critical thinkers there too, unfortunately the critical thinkers have stayed the silent majority. Perhaps there is much for you to lose if you speak up. I can understand that. I do hope and pray that you find a wise way to speak the truth, even if your voice shakes before it is too late, before generations of racial harmony and mutual respect gets stomped beyond any shred of recognition.

Consistent with how I have led my life since I was young, thanks to leadership from my own parents, I now teach my own children to be “colour blind” when developing friendships.  I am convinced there is eternal value in the work of bridge building among nations. I just wish there were more of us bridge builders out there. It gets tiring after a while if nobody joins you in the work. Every brick I put up, there seems to be more than 10 others out there eager to shoot the brick down.

The marvelous piece of writing below was produced by my 10-year old. She and her classmates were asked to first, listen to a story read by their teacher and then, re-write what they heard and understood of the story. The story was read four times and the name of the Sultan was simplified for spelling purposes for the kids. Please, don’t anybody get offended now.

I was amazed by the story when I first read my daughter’s work and I made it a teachable moment as we talked about honour, differences, and respect among peoples as well as the flipside, which was hatred, prejudice and ignorance.

I hope you enjoy my daughter’s retelling of a wonderful story of chivalry and nobility in one of the darkest times of human history where wrong was committed on both sides of the war.

 

The Noblest Knight

Eight hundred years back, an English knight called Sir Hugh de Tabardie fought in the Crusades against the Muslims. Unfortunately, he was thrown off his horse during the battle and was captured.

Soldiers had to pay a ransom of 100 bezants to be freed. Squires had to pay 500 bezants as a ransom. Knights, like Sir Hugh, had to pay one thousand bezants or more.

Back at the Muslims’ camp, the Sultan, Saladin*, told Sir Hugh his ransom.  “You have fought well,” he said. “You must pay a ransom of 8,000 golden bezants.” “8,000 bezants?!” said Sir Hugh, “Were I to sell my horse, my castle and all of my lands, I couldn’t even reach half that amount!”

“Then you will remain prisoner here forever,” replied Saladin.

“Noble Saladin,” said Sir Hugh, “If you will allow me to go free for 30 days, I will try to raise 8,000 golden bezants.”

“And if you do not return?”

“You may do with me as you wish.”

Saladin’s commanders laughed long and hard at Sir Hugh’s suggestion. That Saladin would let a captured knight go free just by keeping his word? What an idea! But Saladin wasn’t laughing.

“Very well. However, if you fail to raise the money, I will put you to death!” he boomed.

Sir Hugh didn’t flinch. “I promise,” he said.

Sir Hugh got onto his horse and rode off to the Crusaders’ camp. The soldiers were astonished that Sir Hugh had returned. “Saladin granted me 30 days to raise 8,000 golden bezants,” Sir Hugh said. Some contributed to Sir Hugh’s ransom but most did not. It made no sense for a free knight to pay a ransom. Sir Hugh counted the money he had raised.

Thirty days passed. Sir Hugh had only raised 400 bezants. Sadly he returned to the Muslims’ camp.

“Have you brought me your ransom?” demanded Saladin.

“I have raised only four hundred bezants,” said Sir Hugh solemnly.

“And still you have returned, knowing that you were going to your death?” asked Saladin.

“I have kept my word,” said Sir Hugh.

“Then, surely it would dishonour us, to put a man that kept a promise made to an enemy, to death. Who here will contribute to Sir Hugh’s ransom?” Saladin then passed a brass bowl around and each commander dropped a handful of gold bezants into it.

When they were finished, Saladin counted out the money. “There are 10,000 bezants here. I will double it!” Saladin turned to Sir Hugh. “Your ransom has been paid many times over,” he said. “Sir Hugh, you may go free and here – take your ransom money with you. It is a gift from us.”

“But noble Saladin,” Sir Hugh said, “how can I accept this gift if I know that others still linger in captivity? Take back the 20,000 bezants and use them to free as many prisoners as you will allow,” said Sir Hugh.

Saladin replied, “I myself, will pay the prisoners’ ransoms. They are all free. Take them with you.”

As Sir Hugh traveled back to England, his story followed him. Years passed, and even when Sir Hugh was older, people would still point to him and say, “There goes Sir Hugh de Tabardie, the noblest knight that ever lived!”

But Sir Hugh would always reply, “Not so. The noblest knight was once my enemy. And if I were not Sir Hugh, I would gladly be Saladin, for he is the noblest knight of all.”

The END. (By Kiara L.) 

*Sultan Salahah-Din was respected by Crusaders despite being their nemesis. His chivalry was noted by many Christian chroniclers.

Halal meat. I bought it, wouldn’t you?

Two days before Christmas, I went grocery shopping at a Muslim grocery store. I was there to buy some “halal” meat as I had invited some Malaysian friends to a Christmas lunch at my home. My friends were Muslims so it made perfect sense to me to cook halal meat.  Halal foods are those processed in accordance with Islamic law.

At the meat counter, I smiled at the butcher as he came to ask for my order. As I stood there deciding how much meat to get, I asked him where he was from as he was somewhat fair-skinned and frankly, I was curious. He said he was from Afghanistan. How interesting.  He then asked where I was from, to which I responded, “Malaysia”.

“Aahh… Malaysia. It’s a Muslim country, no?”

“Yes, it is,” I confirmed with a smile.

“And you are Muslim?”

“No, I am not,” with another big smile.

….. Pause…..the butcher raised his eyebrow….it was accompanied by a confused look.

“You’re not Muslim?” …and his unspoken, “So why are you here?”

“I’m Christian and I’m celebrating Christmas.  My Muslim friends invited me for Eid Mubarak (end of Ramadan celebrations) and so I am inviting them back for Christmas. This is why I am here to buy halal meat for them.”

Still confused look…. And then a smile….followed by, “How much you want for your friends?”

We had a good exchange and he ended up cutting my 20lbs of chicken into all the pieces I required, thereby saving me a good hour of blood, sweat and tears.  When my order was ready, the Afghan-born butcher wished me a good celebration and a Happy New Year with a big, friendly smile.

I know this is not exactly “world peace” but I am hopeful that I changed someone’s stereotype of a race and of a religion.   I don’t need a 180° change. I simply need a 1° change.  It's a start. It's better than nothing.

This was not at all difficult for me to do. I have Muslim friends coming over for a meal. I have access to a Muslim grocery store only 15 minutes away from home. I bought halal meat. Wouldn’t you?

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
- Mother Teresa

Light the Night...Part 2

The sun set over my beloved city in a warm glow of gold. The evening air is crisp. This is October, after all. The low hum of activity we heard when we first arrived an hour ago had now crescendoed to a full buzz of talking, laughing and sharing among thousands of participants, all in harmony with the current top 40 hits blaring from the stage, courtesy of my favourite radio station.

I am here at a fundraiser being held on an island, right in the middle of one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world, Montreal. I am here because my daughter wanted to come. Her classmate was suddenly diagnosed with leukemia earlier this year. He is 10.  The kids’ teachers from last year initiated a team to fundraise and walk in solidarity and support of a cure for young Matthew and others. So, here we are, at the Light the Night Walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. Why “light the night”? This is a night-time 5km walk, held in the fall, in major cities all across Canada. The walk is illuminated by balloons that each participant carry, specially prepared with lights that twinkle and shine.

What an evening!  In just over 2 weeks, the team put together by the teachers called, MJ’s Fans, had fundraised over $18,000 for leukemia research. We were told that not only was the team the fastest in raising so much money, it was also the biggest team walking that night, 59-members strong.

After a child-friendly meal of pizza, hotdogs, baby carrots, brownies and apples, and some fun at the inflatable play area as well as some face painting, we were welcomed by the organizers of the walk on an island that also hosts the Montreal Formula One Grand Prix. They introduced Montreal’s “Hero” for 2010 – a beautiful young lady called Alyssa. Her team, Alyssa’s Crew, had the tent right next to ours. I do not recall her speech apart from her introduction which went a little like this, “Hi everyone! My name is Alyssa and I’m a 19 year student at Concordia University. I have been in remission from leukemia for 8 years and it is thanks to you, all of you (she waved her hand across the entire park where we were gathered). Thank you for aiding in the process of finding a cure for something that affected me and still affect so many around the world”….

I seriously do not remember what else she said. The lump in my throat stuck for a few minutes. My sight became blurred with tears. My heart swelled with the absolute knowledge that my daughter and I were here, not just for a simple walk around the park. We were here to make a difference. Yes, the amount raised by just the two of us was relatively small but MJ’s Fans’ banner said, “Together we have the power to heal”….and I believe in the power of togetherness. And together, we brought the cure 18,000 small steps closer to a reality.

Back to the walk. The kids were animated with excitement. They carried their banner for Matthew with much gusto. Every time a cameraman stepped in front of them for a picture or video, out would come, “Cheese!” or “We love you Matthew!!!!” ....sweet....

We left our meeting place after a rousing send-off and very quickly it became obvious how special this night-time walk was. For much of the walk, the only light came from the thousands of illuminated balloons we carried. There were RED balloons for teams like ours, walking in SUPPORT of someone currently battling leukemia. There were WHITE balloons for walkers who were SURVIVORS of this disease. Last but not least, there were GOLD balloons, for people walking in MEMORY of loved ones lost.

Soon, we came to a 1-kilometre stretch where luminaries (little candle lanterns made from small paper bags) lined the entire walkway. Each one had a name on it. The volunteer at the beginning of this kilometer requested we walk silently. Immediately, the upbeat chatter abated to almost total silence in a show of respect. Even the children understood this serious and solemn stretch of walk. All you could hear was the quiet shuffle of footsteps.

Each luminary  represented someone lost to the leukemia or lymphoma this year. Towards the end of this kilometer, I saw two people in a tight embrace and as I passed them, I heard them sobbing softly. It was my second, big reminder of the reason I was walking. We were walking to help fund research to find a cure for a disease that took away lives of loved ones.

As we continued walking, the buoyant, optimistic mood returned. The kids oohed and aahed at various lookout points where we could see Montreal at night. There was huffing and puffing the last kilometer as we began to recognize the way back to the meeting place. We could hear the band playing again. We crossed the finish line to thunderous applause as volunteers clapped and whooped and hollered to celebrate our success.

Wow … what an evening!  My daughter learned so much in one night about caring enough to make a difference. Much more than a textbook read over a whole year could ever teach. The children and their enthusiasm to do this walk for their friend affirmed my belief that you can never be to young to make a difference. Those who think children are ineffective fundraisers due to their age are somewhat small-minded, I think, without vision. By the way, MJ’s Fans are now listed as one of the top 10 fundraising teams across Canada for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Sometimes, we adults need to stop complaining and lamenting about everything that is wrong in this world. We need to just start doing something to make a difference. If we do not know how to do that, perhaps we need to look at our kids every now and then. It also helps to remember, no one can do everything, but everyone can do something.

Best line I heard that night….one of the teachers who organized the team said, “Next year, Matthew will lead the team as we walk. He will hold his WHITE balloon”….

I needed a Kleenex then....what about you?

PS - if you'd like to take the walk with us, click on the link to our digital scrapbook below. Enjoy. Be inspired.

Light The Night 2010 Digital Scrapbook