Monday, December 27, 2010

Halal meat. I bought it, wouldn’t you?


Two days before Christmas, I went grocery shopping at a Muslim grocery store. I was there to buy some “halal” meat as I had invited some Malaysian friends to a Christmas lunch at my home. My friends were Muslims so it made perfect sense to me to cook halal meat.  Halal foods are those processed in accordance with Islamic law.

At the meat counter, I smiled at the butcher as he came to ask for my order. As I stood there deciding how much meat to get, I asked him where he was from as he was somewhat fair-skinned and frankly, I was curious. He said he was from Afghanistan. How interesting.  He then asked where I was from, to which I responded, “Malaysia”.

“Aahh… Malaysia. It’s a Muslim country, no?”

“Yes, it is,” I confirmed with a smile.

“And you are Muslim?”

“No, I am not,” with another big smile.

….. Pause…..the butcher raised his eyebrow….it was accompanied by a confused look.

“You’re not Muslim?” …and his unspoken, “So why are you here?”

“I’m Christian and I’m celebrating Christmas.  My Muslim friends invited me for Eid Mubarak (end of Ramadan celebrations) and so I am inviting them back for Christmas. This is why I am here to buy halal meat for them.”

Still confused look…. And then a smile….followed by, “How much you want for your friends?”

We had a good exchange and he ended up cutting my 20lbs of chicken into all the pieces I required, thereby saving me a good hour of blood, sweat and tears.  When my order was ready, the Afghan-born butcher wished me a good celebration and a Happy New Year with a big, friendly smile.

I know this is not exactly “world peace” but I am hopeful that I changed someone’s stereotype of a race and of a religion.   I don’t need a 180° change. I simply need a 1° change.  It's a start. It's better than nothing.

This was not at all difficult for me to do. I have Muslim friends coming over for a meal. I have access to a Muslim grocery store only 15 minutes away from home. I bought halal meat. Wouldn’t you?




"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
- Mother Teresa

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Light the Night...Part 2

The sun set over my beloved city in a warm glow of gold. The evening air is crisp. This is October, after all. The low hum of activity we heard when we first arrived an hour ago had now crescendoed to a full buzz of talking, laughing and sharing among thousands of participants, all in harmony with the current top 40 hits blaring from the stage, courtesy of my favourite radio station.

I am here at a fundraiser being held on an island, right in the middle of one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world, Montreal. I am here because my daughter wanted to come. Her classmate was suddenly diagnosed with leukemia earlier this year. He is 10.  The kids’ teachers from last year initiated a team to fundraise and walk in solidarity and support of a cure for young Matthew and others. So, here we are, at the Light the Night Walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. Why “light the night”? This is a night-time 5km walk, held in the fall, in major cities all across Canada. The walk is illuminated by balloons that each participant carry, specially prepared with lights that twinkle and shine.

What an evening!  In just over 2 weeks, the team put together by the teachers called, MJ’s Fans, had fundraised over $18,000 for leukemia research. We were told that not only was the team the fastest in raising so much money, it was also the biggest team walking that night, 59-members strong.

After a child-friendly meal of pizza, hotdogs, baby carrots, brownies and apples, and some fun at the inflatable play area as well as some face painting, we were welcomed by the organizers of the walk on an island that also hosts the Montreal Formula One Grand Prix. They introduced Montreal’s “Hero” for 2010 – a beautiful young lady called Alyssa. Her team, Alyssa’s Crew, had the tent right next to ours. I do not recall her speech apart from her introduction which went a little like this, “Hi everyone! My name is Alyssa and I’m a 19 year student at Concordia University. I have been in remission from leukemia for 8 years and it is thanks to you, all of you (she waved her hand across the entire park where we were gathered). Thank you for aiding in the process of finding a cure for something that affected me and still affect so many around the world”….

I seriously do not remember what else she said. The lump in my throat stuck for a few minutes. My sight became blurred with tears. My heart swelled with the absolute knowledge that my daughter and I were here, not just for a simple walk around the park. We were here to make a difference. Yes, the amount raised by just the two of us was relatively small but MJ’s Fans’ banner said, “Together we have the power to heal”….and I believe in the power of togetherness. And together, we brought the cure 18,000 small steps closer to a reality.

Back to the walk. The kids were animated with excitement. They carried their banner for Matthew with much gusto. Every time a cameraman stepped in front of them for a picture or video, out would come, “Cheese!” or “We love you Matthew!!!!” ....sweet....

We left our meeting place after a rousing send-off and very quickly it became obvious how special this night-time walk was. For much of the walk, the only light came from the thousands of illuminated balloons we carried. There were RED balloons for teams like ours, walking in SUPPORT of someone currently battling leukemia. There were WHITE balloons for walkers who were SURVIVORS of this disease. Last but not least, there were GOLD balloons, for people walking in MEMORY of loved ones lost.

Soon, we came to a 1-kilometre stretch where luminaries (little candle lanterns made from small paper bags) lined the entire walkway. Each one had a name on it. The volunteer at the beginning of this kilometer requested we walk silently. Immediately, the upbeat chatter abated to almost total silence in a show of respect. Even the children understood this serious and solemn stretch of walk. All you could hear was the quiet shuffle of footsteps.

Each luminary  represented someone lost to the leukemia or lymphoma this year. Towards the end of this kilometer, I saw two people in a tight embrace and as I passed them, I heard them sobbing softly. It was my second, big reminder of the reason I was walking. We were walking to help fund research to find a cure for a disease that took away lives of loved ones.

As we continued walking, the buoyant, optimistic mood returned. The kids oohed and aahed at various lookout points where we could see Montreal at night. There was huffing and puffing the last kilometer as we began to recognize the way back to the meeting place. We could hear the band playing again. We crossed the finish line to thunderous applause as volunteers clapped and whooped and hollered to celebrate our success.

Wow … what an evening!  My daughter learned so much in one night about caring enough to make a difference. Much more than a textbook read over a whole year could ever teach. The children and their enthusiasm to do this walk for their friend affirmed my belief that you can never be to young to make a difference. Those who think children are ineffective fundraisers due to their age are somewhat small-minded, I think, without vision. By the way, MJ’s Fans are now listed as one of the top 10 fundraising teams across Canada for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Sometimes, we adults need to stop complaining and lamenting about everything that is wrong in this world. We need to just start doing something to make a difference. If we do not know how to do that, perhaps we need to look at our kids every now and then. It also helps to remember, no one can do everything, but everyone can do something.

Best line I heard that night….one of the teachers who organized the team said, “Next year, Matthew will lead the team as we walk. He will hold his WHITE balloon”….

I needed a Kleenex then....what about you?


PS - if you'd like to take the walk with us, click on the link to our digital scrapbook below. Enjoy. Be inspired.




Monday, September 27, 2010

Light the Night......



Recently, I received some news that made me do some verbal vomiting. My daughter’s teacher from last year had sent a bunch of parents an e-mail that made me sit in stunned disbelief. It turns out that a classmate of my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia at the end of the school year. My daughter is 10. Her friend, Matthew, is 10. Yes, 10-year old Matthew has leukemia. Excuse me a minute… I need to go rip some papers... hit a wall.... kick a rock.... yell.... swear….

…. I’m back.... I’m breathing. I’m not really feeling any better. You’d think that as I age, I’d get more cynical and tough….that less and less would affect me as after all; I’ve “been there, done that”.. I’ve “seen it all”. Surprisingly, I am more easily affected now than ever before by news of suffering, injustice and affliction. Maybe it was my 3-year stint working at a charitable organization, coming face to face with pictures and stories of real people dying daily of treatable diseases, that has softened my heart and mind. Maybe it’s being on the receiving end, too often, of prejudiced eyes that have heightened my senses towards discrimination.

Cancer does not discriminate. Some days, I wish it did. I wished it would strike the pedophiles of the world…or the mass murderers ….instead of a young child, still in elementary school. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not upset because Matthew is my daughter’s best friend. They are not best friends. They are simply classmates. Regardless, there is something about a 10-year old undergoing aggressive chemotherapy that does not sit well with me.

Marcus Aurelius said “Everyman’s life lies within the present, for the past is spent and done with and the future is uncertain.”  I do not know what the future holds for Matthew but this I know. This coming weekend, my family will be doing something we’ve never done before. We are going to take a 5km walk on an autumn night in my beloved Montreal together with thousands across the country to bring help and hope to people battling blood cancers.

We will walk and raise funds to provide life saving blood cancer research. We will walk with others, carrying illuminated balloons - white for survivors, red for supporters and gold in memory of loved ones lost to cancer. We will carry red balloons for Matthew. We will join our school team of walkers for Matthew, wishing him well, willing him to recover, and sending him all the prayers and hope one can send.

I know my children and I cannot change the whole world. That does not mean that we cannot at least; make a difference to the world immediately around us. And we will make a difference by actually doing something and doing it with faith for “faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”

PS – hope to see you back in school after Christmas, Matthew. Your friend, Kiki is honoured to be walking for you.




Matthew's page on Light the Night

Monday, July 12, 2010

Leave No Child Behind...

I am a teacher. I teach for a living. This was not always the case.


I remember the years working to attain that baccalaureate in Education. Learning to understand the mechanics of language. Appreciating the masters of literature. Stepping out of my comfort zone participating and not just observing in drama class. Dealing with my “fear” of machines when I had to produce educational media. LOL!


I remember coming home with that fancy piece of paper after my commencement. I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, anxious about my new chapter. I was to enter the workforce. Lil’ ol’ me…actually contributing to society. How exciting!

I arrive for my first day of work. WHAM! I run into a door marked, “Bureaucracy & Administration”. Turns out my new boss did not need my expertise. Whoop dee doo! I guess someone was sleeping on the job the day they matched supply with demand.

I’ll spare you the painful details but my light for teaching was almost completely snuffed out within two years. I quit. I found other passions, tried new career paths.

Fast forward 14 years. Supernatural forces returned me to the teaching profession. I kid you not about the supernatural part but that’s a whole other blogpost :-)


This time around, I see a similar door – Bureaucracy & Administration. Oh, did I mention some Politics are always involved? But…but…this time around, I am not only allowed, I am even encouraged to put into practice all that I had learned from the hallowed halls of my beloved McGill. This time around, I was given the freedom to soar, as I knew I could. And soar I did. In fact, I am still flying high, oh yeah baby!

Don’t get me wrong. Those big, bad B, A, and P-words still exist. (Darn it!) There is a subtle difference, however, in the mentality or attitude of those running the school. Now, there is an understanding that what makes the school great is not simply its name or reputation. There is understanding that the school is great because of the remarkable people who thrive within its walls.

A school is great when educators are allowed to educate instead of administrate (yes, the word exists in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, so bite me! Haha!) A school is great when the students do more than passively accept what is taught, and instead, actively think outside the box! A school is great when both teachers and students understand that there is a big and awesome world outside the classroom and there is a real and urgent need to bridge the world and the classroom.

A school is great when kids graduate as mini citizens of the world, kids who are individuals capable of thinking and evaluating on their own, young people who are not fettered by narrow-minded societal norms that state children are too young to make a difference.

Philosophies of education come and go. One that has stayed close to my heart over the years is, “Leave no child behind”. And so, I pour out my mind, strength, heart and soul into what I do everyday.

As I journey deeper into this season called “middle age”, there are occasions when I wish I was more influential, that I had more letters to follow my name or a more important title to precede my name. In the end, the following keeps me grounded – for most of my students, I would be a fixed part of their lives for seven (7) whole years. I can choose to be an inspirational adult in their lives or a mediocre one. I can choose to light a fire, fan the flame or simply open a textbook with no additional creativity. Plutarch said, “The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.” If mine is not a job with power and influence, I do not  know what is....

After all is said and done, I absolutely love what Ivan Welton Fitzwater said:

I am a teacher! What I do and say are being absorbed by young minds who will echo these images across the ages. My lessons will be immortal, affecting people yet unborn, people I will never see or know. The future of the world is in my classroom today, a future with the potential for good or bad. The pliable minds of tomorrow's leaders will be molded either artistically or grotesquely by what I do.


Several future presidents are learning from me today; so are the great writers of the next decades, and so are all the so-called ordinary people who will make the decisions in a democracy. I must never forget these same young people could be the thieves or murderers of the future.


Only a teacher? Thank God I have a calling to the greatest profession of all! I must be vigilant every day lest I lose one fragile opportunity to improve tomorrow.


‘Nuff said! Dreamer, signing off.

Friday, July 2, 2010

The Case for Multilingualism....


Within 24 hours of landing in the country that gave birth to me, this conversation took place:


Daughter: What is the name of the language here?
Me          : Bahasa Melayu
Daugther: I know the Bahasa Melayu word for “What”
Me          : And what do you think that is?
Daugher  : Apa!
Me          : (jaw dropped coz my daughter got it right)…Wow! How do you know?
Daughter: I was listening and I figured it out (du-uh…with her most polite look)


Those who know me well, will know that I am a proponent for multi language acquisition. Having grown up in a multilingual society, I have not much appreciation for those who insist on staying within the boundaries of their own language. I mean, if you could, why wouldn’t you wish to understand more?


I mean, take a classic Hollywood movie, bad guys and not so bad guys. So there’s the Russian president and his translator, “talking” to the American president and HIS translator in a scene. How much do you wanna bet that in real life….all these foreign heads of states communicate well in English and simply use translators as protocol while not very many of the heads of states of English speaking nations understand more than their own language? I bet you a chocolate chip cookie, the former is true. PS - don't get offended if you are Russian or American... I'm just using a "classic" example..."classic", I tell you.... :-)


2 decades after moving to arguably, the most European city in North America, I still don’t get the hang-up many French Quebeckers have about “protecting” their language by insisting on French only signs and "encouraging" new immigrants to learn French as a way of assimilating to life there. While I say one language on your sign of commerce simply restricts how much business you get, I also say, more power to the immigrants. By the way, French is a bee-you-ti-ful language.


Maybe the French don’t notice it but I certainly do. The face of Canada is changing, it is becoming more “beige” as the years go by and these new “beige” faces speak a minimum of 3 languages well, the 2 official languages of Canada plus their mother tongue. Hmmm… I wonder who has the advantage in the long run, the unilingual French Quebecker or the multi-lingual new Quebecker? Sometimes the boundaries we set to keep others out, also serve to keep ourselves in and that is not always a good thing, n’est-ce pas?

I wonder the same for Malaysia...who has the advantage, the unilingual Malaysian or the multilingual one....hmmm.....


Back to my kids learning a 4th language while on vacation in the tropics. KiKi and King T – more power to you! Mommy’s proud of you!

Friday, March 5, 2010

A Party Like No Other....


At the end of last year, I received a call from a dear friend, a CFO in a company with interests across our borders. It seems there was one ticket left to a very fancy fundraiser in Montreal –the Cedars Cancer Institute Annual Raffle & Auction. “Would you like to join me?” my friend asked.

Honestly, I did not know whether to whoop and holler in an I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening-to-me manner or collapsed in a chair dumbfounded with the realization that I actually know somebody who “frequents” fancy shindigs like the one I had just been invited to. You gotta remember that I am a simple elementary school teacher with young kids of my own (and no live-in maid!). Going out on the town to a fancy schmancy party is somewhat remotely far down my list of frequently used phrases.

Back to the phone call, my dear friend had recently read my blog and thought she would love to read my impressions of my night out. Plus, she knew I was a foodie and the “refreshments” served at the event were supposedly out of this world. “The lamb chops are the best in the world”. What can I say, gourmet food + night out with a girlfriend = heck yeah!

So, like a typical girl, I fret about what to wear. Thankfully, the dress code is business chic. I think I can muster up some business chicness, somehow. A dear fashionista friend who lived 14,000km away said to bring out the “bling” and I did my best to come out of my shell with some semblance of “bling”… LOL!

On a crisp December evening, we arrive at Le Windsor, one ofMontreal’s most prestigious and historic landmarks”. Throughout its history, Le Windsor has hosted the likes of Sir Winston Churchill, John F. Kennedy and other dignitaries and celebrities…and lil’ ol’ me is about to walk through its hallowed halls.

There were no less than half a dozen crystal chandeliers to fill my sight as I came through the classic French doors. Peacock Alley had marble floors and 20-foot ceilings and sat in between two ballrooms. It was awashed in winter-themed decorations, all shades of white and frosty blue and glittery with silver and gold. If the Ice Queen of Narnia had been a nice queen, this is the kind of decor I would’ve imagine her to have – something that looked icy cold yet strangely enough felt affably warm at the same time.

People dressed in business chic everywhere, some even more formal that that, what with cleavage, teased up hair and high, high heels. I even saw a pair of Louboutins à la Jennifer Lopez (red-soled designer shoes). I breathed a small sigh of relief; I did not look completely out of place with my black fitting sweater, grey tulip pencil skirt complemented by my high heeled black suede boots tinged with silver gray snakeskin. And yes, I did not forget the “bling”, some chunky turquoise accessories. (Arzee, you would’ve been proud of me).

And indeed, there were food stations in various locations spread out among the two ballrooms and Peacock Alley. Sushi took a prominent spot at the end of the Alley. Fresh seafood and pasta was being prepared in front of our eyes. Waiters and waitresses in crisp black and white circled among the guests with trays of delectable hors d’oeuvres like smoked salmon on little blini pancakes and crème fraiche, petit chicken satay skewers, and steamed asparagus spears. I particularly enjoyed the golden arancini, which were cute little fried rice croquettes stuffed with mozzarella. Of course, there were the famed lamb chops. It seemed everyone raved about them. Beneath the most glorious center chandelier was one wait staff who seemingly out of nowhere, somehow whipped out rack after rack of marvelously roasted, herb encrusted lamb. Each guest took their fill of perfectly cooked lamb, crusty on the outside, deliciously pink on the inside, infinitely sublime all around.

I wish I had more to say about the food. I don’t...  One reason was that I was, unfortunately, not well acquainted with my new digital camera and therefore failed to take sumptuous photos of the most elegant smorgasbord I had ever seen. Quite unlike a dear friend, handy with a Canon SLR, who writes one of the top 5 food blogs in South East Asia - http://www.awhiffoflemongrass.com/

The other reason was, halfway through the evening, my eyes caught sight of a young woman, dressed in a sleeveless dress of cobalt blue. What drew me to her was not the colour of her dress, which offered a bright splash of colour among the winter whites. It was her shiny bald head and her big smile that caught my attention.

I suddenly remembered the main reason all these people were here. We were not here just for the food, despite how divine and scrumptious it was. We were not here to rub shoulders with the “other half”…the rich and famous and almost famous – Bob Gainey, then Manager of the Montreal Canadiens hockey team was there, as was comedienne, Caroline Rhea. I remembered why we were here. We were here to spend some money at an auction to raise some funds so that the real star of the evening, the Cedars Breast Clinic would benefit from receiving a digital mammography unit.

Yes, I enjoyed the delectable food tremendously – those lamb chops deserved their reputation! Yes, I was awestruck seeing Caroline Rhea in person – her dress was the same striking cobalt blue as the bald young lady I mentioned earlier. I wonder if Caroline won the Gucci sunglasses she bidded on at the silent auction.

My biggest takeaway, however, was the young lady in cobalt blue who was introduced later that night as a cancer patient. Seeing her reminded me of the frailty and uncertainty of life – cancer strikes without discrimination….. seeing her showed me that the human spirit can rise to the challenge that life brings – a spot of chemo was not going to keep her from participating from doing her part in raising awareness and funds to find a cure for the disease that was trying to kill her. She reminded me that sometimes…just sometimes…. giving up is NOT an option.

Thank you, J. for a marvelous evening. I appreciated more than the food. I appreciated life itself.



PS – same time next year? LOL!!

PPS - $350,000 was raised that night, enough to get a digital mammography unit for the clinic. Bravo!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Carpe Diem

I received another one of many chain mails this week. I really dislike the superstitious mumbo jumbo stuff about forwarding such e-mails at the end of them. So, since the original creator was not credited, I have decided to share the body of the e-mail here but adjust the opening and closing as only I would, in a blogpost.

Now that I am supposedly "all grown up", I face adult-sized challenges in my daily life. Not all result in success in my favour, which is quite unfortunate. But... supposedly what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And so, I move forward... sometimes with a skip and a hop and laughter in my heart and other times with a limp, dragging my bruised ego and tired legs behind me.

As I reminisce about my "good old days" with some wonderful people in my past, I catch myself feeling wistful and thoughtful amidst all the laughter at our 80s and 90s fashion and hairstyles. I do not deny a desire to turn back the clock, to for a moment, return to the innocence and wonderment of a 20-year old and perhaps even make some decisions just a bit differently. I certainly know a lot more now than I did then. But then again, that’s quite impossible, isn’t it? We cannot relive the past knowing what we know in the present.

While I think it is natural to wonder about what-ifs and wish-I-could-haves back then, at the end of the day, I live in the here and now. This e-mail that I received reminded me of my first lesson in Carpe Diem through the Robin Williams movie, Dead Poets Society. Carpe Diem is a phrase in a poem by Horace, a Roman poet during the time of Augustus. In his ode, Horace beckons the reader to live the present wholly as the future is unknowable. It was a fabulous movie by the way, but since I cannot read Latin, I am unable to recommend Horace’s poem in whole :)

It seems to me this new decade of my life is crucial for building and sealing relationships, especially familial ones. And so, I choose to face this decade of my life with regular reminders to “seize the day” – make today even better than yesterday. No, let’s rephrase that, make today even more meaningful than yesterday. Yeah, that’s better.

When I am finished getting teary-eyed about the past (and don't even bother telling me not to cry as I believe it is human nature to mourn for what we do not have), I must take the step to acknowledge the present that I do have. Count my blessings (corny but true and a must, in order to move forward)...and if I have to, list them one by one. At each sunset and when night falls, I must choose to celebrate the fact that I have life to live, and live to the fullest. If I am unable to find a single blessing, at least for today, may I look to the battered nation of Haiti and be thankful that I am far better off than at least 3 million inhabitants there.

Anyway – here is the body of the e-mail which prompted this blogpost. There is much truth in it. Share it as you wish. Live it as you choose.

**************************************************

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realizeThe value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby...


To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane..


To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

LOSE ONE.


**************************************************

Peace and love to all.