Balance

OMGosh!

Has it truly been a year since I last posted something? Wow! Some kind of a blogger extraordinaire I must be! Sheesh! Where has time gone? What have I done? Where have I been? What have I accomplished? Did I learn anything in the last 15 months? Do I have more white hair than before? Hahahaha! I knew there was a vain streak in me somewhere. How humbling to be reminded I am not yet perfect. :-)

Busy, busy, busy is where I've been. Therein lies my sickness. I really need to figure out what's important in my life. It surely can't be work. It better not be work.

The following piece by a former President and CEO of Coca Cola has often been quoted, perhaps not in its entirety but today, my light bulbs went on when I read the whole message. I'm no Georgia Tech graduate but I feel like this is a message specially written for me. May I do a better job at living a balanced life. If I am successful, you will see me back at blogging. If not......see y'all next year! :-)

****

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit … and you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for Balance in your life.

How?

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be pave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings!

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way…

–Brian G. Dyson
President and CEO, Coca-Cola Enterprises during his speech at the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address Sept. 6, 1991

The Business of Bridge-Building

Recently a few links to news pages back in the land where I was born brought much sadness to me… many showed me proof that the place I still refer to as “home”, is no longer the multicultural oasis I had the privilege of growing up in. So-called learned people throw divisive darts at peace and harmony. Supposed scholars pound the wedge called racism into what now seems a chasm among people of all races who call Malaysia their homeland, “tanahair”, a Malay word that always gets me teary-eyed. Many politicians encourage the divide, contributing to more tears.

I read recently, this marvelous quote, “Speak the truth, even when your voice shakes.” I am about to do so in the first of a series of blogposts… speak the truth … even though my voice is shaking as I speak. Why?  It is because I have friends on both sides of the chasm. Friends I love dearly. Friends I consider family, no matter their race, language or faith. And by speaking, I will most likely cause discomfort or pain.

My voice shakes for fear of offending those I love. And yet, if I am afraid to offend with the truth which I will gently encourage you to ponder, perhaps our friendship is more like an aquaintance and not a friendship.

I believe there is truth in this quote, “Similarities create friendships while differences hold them together.  I love my friends not just because sometimes we are similar in thought but because our differences are like a forge that creates the masterpiece of long-lasting relationships which survive the test of time and personal convictions. I celebrate our strength in our similarities as well as our differences. 

Although I know the prejudicial literature I have read recently may not represent the general opinion of the people in my birthplace, as there are very many critical thinkers there too, unfortunately the critical thinkers have stayed the silent majority. Perhaps there is much for you to lose if you speak up. I can understand that. I do hope and pray that you find a wise way to speak the truth, even if your voice shakes before it is too late, before generations of racial harmony and mutual respect gets stomped beyond any shred of recognition.

Consistent with how I have led my life since I was young, thanks to leadership from my own parents, I now teach my own children to be “colour blind” when developing friendships.  I am convinced there is eternal value in the work of bridge building among nations. I just wish there were more of us bridge builders out there. It gets tiring after a while if nobody joins you in the work. Every brick I put up, there seems to be more than 10 others out there eager to shoot the brick down.

The marvelous piece of writing below was produced by my 10-year old. She and her classmates were asked to first, listen to a story read by their teacher and then, re-write what they heard and understood of the story. The story was read four times and the name of the Sultan was simplified for spelling purposes for the kids. Please, don’t anybody get offended now.

I was amazed by the story when I first read my daughter’s work and I made it a teachable moment as we talked about honour, differences, and respect among peoples as well as the flipside, which was hatred, prejudice and ignorance.

I hope you enjoy my daughter’s retelling of a wonderful story of chivalry and nobility in one of the darkest times of human history where wrong was committed on both sides of the war.

 

The Noblest Knight

Eight hundred years back, an English knight called Sir Hugh de Tabardie fought in the Crusades against the Muslims. Unfortunately, he was thrown off his horse during the battle and was captured.

Soldiers had to pay a ransom of 100 bezants to be freed. Squires had to pay 500 bezants as a ransom. Knights, like Sir Hugh, had to pay one thousand bezants or more.

Back at the Muslims’ camp, the Sultan, Saladin*, told Sir Hugh his ransom.  “You have fought well,” he said. “You must pay a ransom of 8,000 golden bezants.” “8,000 bezants?!” said Sir Hugh, “Were I to sell my horse, my castle and all of my lands, I couldn’t even reach half that amount!”

“Then you will remain prisoner here forever,” replied Saladin.

“Noble Saladin,” said Sir Hugh, “If you will allow me to go free for 30 days, I will try to raise 8,000 golden bezants.”

“And if you do not return?”

“You may do with me as you wish.”

Saladin’s commanders laughed long and hard at Sir Hugh’s suggestion. That Saladin would let a captured knight go free just by keeping his word? What an idea! But Saladin wasn’t laughing.

“Very well. However, if you fail to raise the money, I will put you to death!” he boomed.

Sir Hugh didn’t flinch. “I promise,” he said.

Sir Hugh got onto his horse and rode off to the Crusaders’ camp. The soldiers were astonished that Sir Hugh had returned. “Saladin granted me 30 days to raise 8,000 golden bezants,” Sir Hugh said. Some contributed to Sir Hugh’s ransom but most did not. It made no sense for a free knight to pay a ransom. Sir Hugh counted the money he had raised.

Thirty days passed. Sir Hugh had only raised 400 bezants. Sadly he returned to the Muslims’ camp.

“Have you brought me your ransom?” demanded Saladin.

“I have raised only four hundred bezants,” said Sir Hugh solemnly.

“And still you have returned, knowing that you were going to your death?” asked Saladin.

“I have kept my word,” said Sir Hugh.

“Then, surely it would dishonour us, to put a man that kept a promise made to an enemy, to death. Who here will contribute to Sir Hugh’s ransom?” Saladin then passed a brass bowl around and each commander dropped a handful of gold bezants into it.

When they were finished, Saladin counted out the money. “There are 10,000 bezants here. I will double it!” Saladin turned to Sir Hugh. “Your ransom has been paid many times over,” he said. “Sir Hugh, you may go free and here – take your ransom money with you. It is a gift from us.”

“But noble Saladin,” Sir Hugh said, “how can I accept this gift if I know that others still linger in captivity? Take back the 20,000 bezants and use them to free as many prisoners as you will allow,” said Sir Hugh.

Saladin replied, “I myself, will pay the prisoners’ ransoms. They are all free. Take them with you.”

As Sir Hugh traveled back to England, his story followed him. Years passed, and even when Sir Hugh was older, people would still point to him and say, “There goes Sir Hugh de Tabardie, the noblest knight that ever lived!”

But Sir Hugh would always reply, “Not so. The noblest knight was once my enemy. And if I were not Sir Hugh, I would gladly be Saladin, for he is the noblest knight of all.”

The END. (By Kiara L.) 

*Sultan Salahah-Din was respected by Crusaders despite being their nemesis. His chivalry was noted by many Christian chroniclers.

Halal meat. I bought it, wouldn’t you?

Two days before Christmas, I went grocery shopping at a Muslim grocery store. I was there to buy some “halal” meat as I had invited some Malaysian friends to a Christmas lunch at my home. My friends were Muslims so it made perfect sense to me to cook halal meat.  Halal foods are those processed in accordance with Islamic law.

At the meat counter, I smiled at the butcher as he came to ask for my order. As I stood there deciding how much meat to get, I asked him where he was from as he was somewhat fair-skinned and frankly, I was curious. He said he was from Afghanistan. How interesting.  He then asked where I was from, to which I responded, “Malaysia”.

“Aahh… Malaysia. It’s a Muslim country, no?”

“Yes, it is,” I confirmed with a smile.

“And you are Muslim?”

“No, I am not,” with another big smile.

….. Pause…..the butcher raised his eyebrow….it was accompanied by a confused look.

“You’re not Muslim?” …and his unspoken, “So why are you here?”

“I’m Christian and I’m celebrating Christmas.  My Muslim friends invited me for Eid Mubarak (end of Ramadan celebrations) and so I am inviting them back for Christmas. This is why I am here to buy halal meat for them.”

Still confused look…. And then a smile….followed by, “How much you want for your friends?”

We had a good exchange and he ended up cutting my 20lbs of chicken into all the pieces I required, thereby saving me a good hour of blood, sweat and tears.  When my order was ready, the Afghan-born butcher wished me a good celebration and a Happy New Year with a big, friendly smile.

I know this is not exactly “world peace” but I am hopeful that I changed someone’s stereotype of a race and of a religion.   I don’t need a 180° change. I simply need a 1° change.  It's a start. It's better than nothing.

This was not at all difficult for me to do. I have Muslim friends coming over for a meal. I have access to a Muslim grocery store only 15 minutes away from home. I bought halal meat. Wouldn’t you?

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
- Mother Teresa