Living dangerously

I've been reconnecting with old, old friends recently. Whoops...let me reclaim one "old". Since my friends and I are relatively the same age, we can't be all THAT old. Hahaha!

What was I saying. Oh yeah! Old friends...well, at least 3 of them have indicated in various ways that I really need to "relax a little" ... "hang loose" ... "liberate myself" ..."live a little dangerously". And these are folks who knew me some decades ago...some can even be considered among my best friends though... I'm considering chucking you aside for your brutal honesty. LOL!! Hmmmmm....what are you saying, pals??? That yours truly is uh...umm...somewhat uptight (i.e stiffly conventional in manner or attitudes)? Kinda a control freak? An overachieving perfectionistic Ms. Smarty Pants?

Ugh...methinks you are right. Don'tcha hate it when your friends are right?

In my defense, I have "eldest child syndrome". Hahaha! Add the word "Chinese" in front of that phrase and that will explain a lot about who I am, what I do and why I do what I do. I could go on and on about that...would take many blog pages to "purge" myself of that syndrome..but not now. :)

So - frankly, I somewhat agree with my precious friends. I need to "relax" and "hang loose" a little. But how to do that? Years, no decades, of choosing to do the right thing for the good of all those around me...not easy to change overnight.

I decided to attempt one suggestion from the friend from Down Under. Said I should start drinking coffee...and that if I dared... I should drink it black! Actually, first the suggestion was that I take some time for myself. Those of you who are moms, working inside and/or outside the home will know that we are notorious for not taking time for ourselves. So - this is what I did - a few weeks ago, I managed to carve out 30 .. nope..40 minutes in my week for myself. Whoohoo!!

I went to the library - must have books :)... then I went to Tim Horton's (famous Canadian Donut and Coffee chain) and ordered...a Cafe Mocha (half coffee, half hot chocolate). What???!! You thought I was going to order a Coffee... black?? Are you crraazzy??? Puh-leeze...do you know how hard it is to do something out of the ordinary? :) But wait - I'm not done...the server said, "One Cafe Mocha. Would you like whipped cream with that?"

Ooohhh...whipped cream....very, VERY b-a-d for the likes of me (struggled with weight issues all my life). But... I remembered! You could almost see little thought bubbles popping up around my head - Relax! ... Hang Loose! ... Live Dangerously!

So, I said to the friendly Tim Horton staff - "Whipped cream? Sure...why not?" HAHAHAHAHAHA! How's that for living dangerously? I know...lame-O!! HAHAHA...if you are laughing with me, that's good.

But wait - fast forward 2 weeks (this time, I got 50 minutes to myself!)... another visit to the library... (I'm a fast reader!) ... another visit to Tim Horton's. Same order...Cafe Mocha...same Q....and I said, yet again, "Yes - whipped cream please" :O!!! Sin!! ... and I added, " And may I have a muffin with that?" She asked, "Which one?"

I pointed to a delectable looking muffin that was studded all over with tiny brown flecks and gleamed with coarse crystal-like granulated sugar and said, surely but certainly , "THAT Chocolate chip one". Hey...if I was going to live "dangerously", I might as well go ALL OUT, right? Hahahahaha! And thus, I completed my journey to the Dark Side. I don't know if even Master Yoda can save me.... :) Did I mention I'm a huge Star Wars fan?

Whaddaya think? Is this living dangerously enough or do I need to go further? :D

I wonder what the next outing will bring? Maybe I'll go hog wild and get a donut...glazed or with icing!!! :D

Have a good week folks. Spring officially arrives in Canada in less than 1 week. Unbelievable! That means brace, brace, brace for one last snowstorm. :)

Ode to my friends from the 80s

So, two weeks before a milestone birthday this past fall, I was involved in an accident. I was driving home after work and was minding my own business in the slow lane of the highway when a big, blue, ugly dump truck kissed my "butt" so to speak. He had changed lanes and did not seem to see me, nudged my car and sent me spinning across a 3-lane highway at rush hour.

By the time I saw his big, blue nose in my rear-view mirror, it was too late. I felt the nudge and I lost control of the car. I remember how surreal the next few moments felt. I remember thinking "Not good...not good...don't know how this will end...". It felt like I was spinning very slowly...even though I knew I was not. I saw cars heading right for me as I did a 180 and continued onto a 360 plus. My eyes caught those of another driver heading right to me and then by me. He looked as shocked as I felt. Helloooo!! I'm the one facing oncoming traffic on a highway at rush hour...why do you look scared out of your wits?

I suppose it was not yet my time to see heaven coz my car landed safely on the shoulder of the fast lane after hitting the median...facing the right way again. Considering the time and the amount of cars on the road, all I can say is, I truly believe angels do exist :). My hubby could not believe the minimal damage to the car considering what actually happened. It was somewhat cool to have the cops stop traffic so I could drive my damaged car to the slow lane shoulder to finish paperwork. Wow...I've never been known to be the type to "stop traffic". By the way, that dump truck that hit me? He stopped about a half kilometre ahead for about 5 minutes...and then drove away. The nerve! How rude! What if I was dead or dying? Thankfully, I was neither.

The few days following the accident, I hugged my kids a bit more, was kinder to those around me, called home a couple of times, was a whole lot more mellow. Why do we seem to appreciate life and people only after we lose it or at least after we've been threatened by its loss??

A couple of weeks later, through a "social networking website", I started finding old friends with whom I lived my first 5 years in Canada. Then the milestone birthday happened and I've been on somewhat of an extended walk down Memory Lane these past few months reconnecting with names from the past.

It's been an extraordinary time of renewing of friendships. I am amazed at how easy it has been to pick up with my friends...almost as if the last 20 years have not happened. I do not think this is the case with all friendships. With some great friendships, after an absence, there is nothing you can do to regain the magic. I have been unbelievably blessed with my friendships from the 80s...as we communicate by emails, I can almost hear my friends' voices and their laughter and I can sense their tears as we reminisce, banter and joke....horrified at our 80s clothes and hairdos, laughing at our silly antics, tearing up as we recall names we have not spoken in 20 years....

Do you have such friends in your life?

My friends and I are quite established in different parts of the world, many are in Malaysia. Although life is generally good with adult-sized challenges for all of us, there seems to be a consensus that our years doing our undergraduate studies at McGill and the very first year finishing Grade 13 in Kington were possibly the best years of our lives. My walk down Memory Lane reminds me of the theme song for the Barcelona Olympics in 1992 sung by Sarah Brightman and Jose Carreras. There's a link on the right side of my blog page - Amigos Para Siempre which means friends for life.

The lyrics of this beautiful song are posted below. I just wanted to recognize how blessed my life was and continue to be, by a group of people who accepted me as one of their own...me with my quirks, my smarts, my sneakers, and all (including a killer smile, thankfully) ....

To all the Malaysians I knew in Kingston and Montreal, I miss you and I continue to love you as the years go by. You are...my amigos para siempre. ... "Just knowing you are in this world can warm my heart" ... This song is dedicated to you with all my love.

Amigos Para Siempre (Friends for life)

I don't have to say
A word to you
You seem to know
Whatever mood
I'm going through
Feels as though
I've known you forever


You
Can look into my eyes and see
The way I feel
And how
The world is treating me
Maybe I have known you forever


Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre


We share memories
I won't forget
And we'll share more,
My friend,
We haven't started yet
Something happens
When we're together


When
I look at you
I wonder why
There has to come
A time when we must say goodbye
I'm alive when we are together


Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre


When
I look at you
I wonder why
There has to come
A time when we must say goodbye


I'm alive when we are together

Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
Amigos para siempre

Ode to my Girlfriends a.k.a. Sister Chicks!

So I've been exhausted these past three weeks. It's called end-of-term-nightmare for teachers i.e. work life revolves around exams, marks, report cards, encouraging comments... while the rest of real life continues surging around you and you have to deal with that too.

I've had the great fortune to meet up with my group of girlfriends twice in this crazy period. The first was at the beginning of my 3-week sprint to the finish line - a sushi outing to celebrate Chinese New Year. Delicious way to get me out of my doldrums. The other, just this weekend, after I crossed the finish line, the girls came over to a Malaysian meal at my place. Both times, somebody mentioned that for someone who said she was "exhausted", I certainly did not "look" like it...that I in fact, looked great. I did not have to think too much about this one.

The answer was simple. I was honestly extremely tired, physically and mentally. But in both circumstances, I was in the company of a small group of people whom I knew loved me, affirmed me and accepted me despite all my quirks, my musings, my imperfections which strangely enough includes my perfectionist side.

I "looked great" because despite my fatigue, I was buoyed by and was feeding off all the "l-o-v-e" my friends had for me. I know. Corny. But true. In a weird way, these gals "completed" me when I was "incomplete". I know, not all of y'all agree with the line from Jerry McGuire which can be a load of hogwash (methinks so too) but that's another blog topic. :) In the instances I refer to with my girlfriends...the line Tom Cruise says to Renee Zellweger is true.

Do you have friends like my sister chicks? I hope so. Over the years, I have come to appreciate the gift of true friends... the ones with whom you can share your mountain-top joys and death-valley lows...ones who won't let you walk around with lipstick on your teeth (I know..maybe the guys who read my blog can relate to pals who don't let you "fly low" Hahaha!). I also understand that I cannot be "Best Friends" with everyone all the time nor they with me. I try to be less bothered by opinions of those who don't even know me and surround myself with people who know me well yet still choose to love me. Makes more sense, eh? Less nay-sayers in my life and more you-go-girl types!

What kind of friend are you? Nay-sayer? Or.. "You go, girl! You go, boy!"

You choose.

I end with a poem that's been circulating on the internet (yep, get a bunch of those). Once again, there is no specific reference to the original creator. Anyone who knows can tell me so I can give credit where it's due. Altho' it's got "girl language", I hope the boys who read my blog will find the guy-equivalent ideas for the seasons mentioned.

Hope to write more this week as my March break week is almost over...got something to say about post-grundge music. :O

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been a friend for 20 minutes or 20+ years,
AND ONLY IF YOU'D LIKE TO,
Pass this on to the women that God has placed in your life
To make a difference. Including the one who sent it to you.

Thanks for being in my circle.

I love you girls, those who knew me in my younger "intimidating years" (some of you live thousands of miles away)...and those who know me now...and still you choose to call me friend. I wish you the best that life can bring. XOXOXO. A.